"IS IT SUSAN BOYLE!?"

No, Clarkson. It's Micheal Jackson, quite obviously.

"Nothing happens!"

Saw Sarah today, for the first time in years. She kicked me. Kayleigh and I started talking about MMCR and just quoted Steve Hughes over and over.

Watched The Truman Show in Comms.

Tried watching Top Gear on iPlayer at college. It ultimately failed.

Went into town with Kayleigh and Hayley.

Came home and watched Top Gear on the tv.

Mo

Fuck off

Adolf just waltzed in, announcing "I'm putting my watch in your window to charge." My window was oopen so I obviously had to close it. As he leaves, he turns and says "And don't open your window whilst my watch is there without thinking."

He needs to give me more credibility, he really does.

Mo

Disney Bint

SATURDAY:

Went into town with Liz, primarily to get Dad and Adolf something for Father's Day. First place we went was Peacocks, where we managed to get Dads FD present- a Dangermouse t-shirt. We then did a bit of browsing (I can't remember the ins and outs) and I got myself some Skullcandy headphones which are bloody epic. I also got Liz a CD by an artist she likes. Heard of Demi Lovato? Neither had I. Apparently she was in Camp Rock. Yes, she's a Disney Bint, just like Miley Cyrus. But anyway, I got myself a purehmv reward card. I took a look at some of the rewards and was amazed and depressed by what I saw. Signed 'Dead Set' script? Amazing. Pair of VIP tickets for Reading fest? Depressing- I have to spend £550 in the next couple of months inorder to get enough points. Ain't gonna happen. I forgot what else we did in town.

After we came home, did some stuff, ate tea and then watched Micheal McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow. That man is brilliant. No other way to describe him. Although just as the show started, I had a phone call. I told them I was watching MMCR and they asked the most horrific questions ever- "Who's Micheal McIntyre?" I was speechless.

SUNDAY:

A complete day of doing bugger all. I would've watched the F1, but as I sat down to do so, Adolf said "I'll record it, because I'm going to put a film on." I came down lan hour later only to find bloody Star Trek Voyager on Virgin 1. If he didn't want me to watch it, he should've just bloody said. So instead I cut the grass, had a shower, had tea (sat down too late to watch the new Top Gear start- got it recorded. Ah, Sky +) and now sat here doing... well bugger all really.

Tomorrow I really need to start that english we were given 2 weeks to do...

Mo

Dear Lord.

What a wierd morning. I woke up after having a dream featuring Tash. Wasn't an indepth experience, she was just there, talking to her her friend who kept giving me dirty looks. I hate her, so can someone please explain her prescence?

Nothing really interesting happened today. Before English I was just pissing about on photoshop and that's really the only thing worth writing about. Besides me leaving my headphones in college (again), spilling coke on my white t-shirt and Dad giving me a guilt trip, though I think it's more a misunderstanding. It'll get sorted.

Mo

"Irene's curry was lovely."

Because I had the bare-faced cheek to buy myself some lunch before hopping on the bus to college, I missed the said bus. I literally got round the corner to see it's indicator winking at me as it pulled off. Fucksake.

So I got the 1A, and got to F.Way to see Kayleigh in the queue for the 13. I got off, walked through the underpass, got to the 13/14 stope where, you guessed it, the bus had gone. Twice in a row. Not going well.

I got off at college to get a text from Lozz saying her and Kayleigh were going into town. I quickly went in to see if I could find them but to no avail. I did, however, have a nice chat with Dulcie, so that was good.

Not wanting to rely on pubic (sorry, public) transport any further, I decided to walk into town. I partly did this because I though it was a possibility I could catch Lozz and Kayleigh up, but at no point did I see them. Ah well, that's my excercise for the week.

I went into WHSmith to get some credit, and then texted Lozz suggesting we meet up. We rendevouzed at Blue Banana. Yes, Blue Banana Man was working.

Lozz and Kayleigh came in, and BBM literally pounced on Kayleigh, exclaiming "I love your eyelashes!" Seriously, pretty much all the staff in there were facinated by her rainbow lashes. I bought Lozz a necklace she wanted, since I still owed her a birthday present. From January. At least she's got it now. And she told me she'd magically obtained £100 that she had to spend. Yes, HAD.

She whipped out her list and we went to Swin City first, to get some US beverages. And then we went to Bodycare to get Lozz some hairdye (Note to self: Buy hairdye.) and then scurried onto Primark. Where Lozz spent £23. On 3 pairs of shoes, some 'jammies, sunglasses (2 pairs- one was for Kayleigh) and other things. And we established that we had to back to college fairly sharpish, so I quickly whipped in to Argos to get some batteries.

In Media, Laura totally embarrassed me by showing everyone my appaling youtube videos. I really need to take them off. She can say she found them hilarious all she wants, they're CRAP. We then had to go take pictures for an anti-drug campaign poster. We just told Maxine to lie in a bush looking passed out. Tomorrow I'm posing with 'cocaine' (flour/sugar, not decided which yet)

Afterwards, Kayleigh, Frank, Bunny and I hung around outside the college gates for a while, making a nuisance of ourselves. Frank was bothering Kayleigh alot by throwing her around, and then Ben Lee showed up. He still hasn't shaved. Lozz came out with Alice, and when I was scalding Ben by saying "That's not real facial hair!", Lozz asked what wasn't realy facial hair. I pointed to Ben, she burst out laughing. Priceless. Irene then walked out and Frank asked to have dinner with her. They walked off together. Really. We were then just talking about usless stuff for a while and Frank reappeared. As he did, he proclaimed "Irene's curry was lovely. I ate it then I ate her out." None of us were particuarly surprised.

Mo

Hair loss.

Just noticed on my Cool Wall magnets (Top Gear mag decided to do a second lot, including those in the first lot) that of all the presenters, Captain Slow and Hammond have got more hair than in the first installment, whereas Clarkson has considerably less.

Bless 'im.

Mo

Rainbow Lashes

First off, thanks Liz, for waking me up at twenty to eight. Thanks a lot. Mind you, I did say I was going to be up at half seven...

My day didn't really start until about lunch time. I was sat in the foyer eating my lunch when Mike went over to look at the exam board. All of a sudden, one of the exhibition walls came crashing down. And Mike was the prime suspect. Everyone who I was sat with burst out laughing and applauded. It was hilarious.

Kayleigh turned up, and told about her cataclysmic new myspace layout. She just HAD to show me when I said I hadn't seen it. So we toddled off to the library so she could show me. And boy, is it HOT. I suggest you go look at it RIGHT NOW- LOOK AT THE SHINY SHINY MYSPACE LAYOUT

After this, we bussed to town where our first stop was Greggs. We then sat at the big screen for a while, bitching about the wind and people. It's how we roll. I noticed Muller were distibuting pots of Muller Rice, so I nabbed a few. I was hungry, alright?

We went to stalk Blue Banana Man again. Although this time we just passed, and we noticed he was wearing a sack hat. Kayleigh was again in love.

At some point we went to New Look to browse. We established that the bright coloured tacky produce was the Yam Section and the bright shiny silver produce was the Nick Wiggins Section. Yes, really. Kayleigh found a nice black and white scarf and some clips to buy with her voucher, and she also spied some spectacular fake rainbow eyelashes. I bought them for her. I spoil her, I really do.

On the bus home, I saw someone lose their hat in the wind and chasing after it. I had to hold in my laughter. And, crossing the road with red traffics lights whicch I'd just pressed, this woman scuttled across the road as if they weren't working. They're on red long enough for you to walk, y'know.

Mo

CONGRATULATIONS MA!

Mum applied for a job way back in May, and didn't hear anything until a couple of weeks ago when she was offered an interview. She went and after a couple of days, had heard nothing back. Being the chronic pessimist she is, she was ademant that she didn't have the job. She's just informed me that she got a phone call telling her she is now a Nurse Auxilary.

Well done, Mum. You deserve it. <3

Mo

"I'm in love!"

Fuck. I get into college (the foyer currently looks like a rat maze with pictures an sculptures- fine art exhibition y'see) and suddenly realise my english lesson isn't taking place. So I'm in college, at 8.40, and my next lesson is at 1 pm. Great.

So, I have 4 hours to kill. How do I kill them? By joining Ellie in her media lesson. Shame I take media myself so Una recognised me ¬_¬ Ah well, was all good fun going on Facebook and watching Dr Wig and The Shrimp Shack Shooters. Yes. Lozz came in half an hour late and unveiled her breakfast- a can of Monster, with Monster Ripper for afters. Ver' naice.

During the break, we bumped into Kayleigh. Because Lozz had been assigned a task to create an advertising poster for anti-bullying/drugs, she decided to use Kayeligh as a model, as she does with all her photography. We went out to the back of the college near the kitchens where most of the rubbish is left, and Kayleigh used some of Lozz's make up to create track marks. She also used Gus' hoodie string as a prop. Knew it would come in handy. We then went back to Una. Well I say 'we', I was ditched -_- I later found them again and they told me they'd gone to get food. But not before Lozz taught Kayleigh the piano intro to Welcome To The Black Parade.

My own media lesson was... fairly dull, actually. Media usually is.

After college, Kayleigh, Lozz and I walked into town. On the way, Lozz picked up a purple daisy and stuck it behind her ear. She then proceeded to pick both me and Kayleigh one and stuck them behind our ears. Please forgive me, but I said "I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair." I know, it was a god awful thing to do, and I'm sorry. Truly madly deeply.

We then got to Queens Park where we 'eurghed' at people for a bit, and witnessed an old man foraging in the bin. No, I'm not entirely sure either.

We then met Elliot who went back home to try and find his cheque. Whilst he did that, Kayleigh, Lozz and I wandered up to Blue Banana to see Blue Banana Fittie (from their point of view, I must stress) and he was there. We spent a good while in there, Lozz and Kay mostly drooling over BBF. Just as we were looking at the hair dye, these two guys approached us and asked us if we wanted to go see a gig. We weren't quite sure what to make us this, and Lozz asked for the name of the band. Ready for this? Two Toms, One Cup. Yes, they are parodying Two Girls. This put me off going to see them somewhat. Then Lozz told them that if they were slightly girlier, she may have considered it. They subsequently left. As they did, we discussed what we would do if they actually came back all girled up. It's because we're cool.

Elliot then came back and we sat outside gimmegizmo and eurghed at more people. Kayleigh wanted to see if Boy was working at Topshop, so we made the customary pass. As we did, a tall, skinny guy walked out, dressed in waistcoat and bow tie. Kayleigh saw him and immediately exclaimed "I'm in love!" We later established that the guy looked like one of Kayleigh's drawings come to life. From then on, Kayleigh kept whimpering "I wanna see Drawing Boy again." Can you blame her?

So yeah, just another day in the life of a douche :)

Mo

FINALLY!

So I got my new tv on Friday, and this is the first chance I've got to use it. Adolf made me do a mass clearout of my ENTIRE room. Even now I'm not entirely sure why.

Still, 22 inches of televisual goodness. It's very wierd having something so big compared to being used to a piddly little shit screen for 6 years. Next thing to do is see how good my PS2 games look on it xD

Oh, and from tomorrow, I'll actually be updating again! I can tell you're all very excited...

Mo

Fuuuuuuuhking hell.

Stupid sodding college internet seems to like travelling at a speed that makes snails look like world record beaters. Fucksake. Sooner I get my new teev, the better.

Mo

Er, hi?

Last published 16 December 2008. It's now June 2009. Heh...

I will start uploading again, promise. Just after I upgrade my shitty 15" Samsung (which has no died) to a nice 22" LG. Bring the fire.

MO