Screw This For A Game Of Soldiers.

"I fancy some KFC."
-walks to Greenbridge KFC-
"[order]"
-KFC card machines aren't working-
-walk to nearby cinema to look for cash machine-
-no cash machines-
"This is gonna sound wierd, but could you charge me £10 from my card and give the cash back to me?"
"Sorry, we don't do cashback. Nearest cash machine is..."
"Miles away."
"Just past Boots."
"Yeah, miles away."
-trunches to cash machine in rain-
-cash machine charges 6 pence more than I can afford to take money out-
-bus to town to get cash out-

-town cash machines won't let me even check my balance-

GIVE UP.