"Don't worry, we're potential buyers."

I woke up REALLY late today, the latest I woken up on a Friday so far. Hey, it was nice ^^



The day only really started after Crit Think finished and I sat with Kayleigh, Sarah and Freya. We were talking about Elara and her donkey-boyfriend. Whom she's never seen a picture of. Paedophilia?



Soon after, Mullinz, Sarah, Kayleigh and I went on a wander around college and found 'Curry Corner'. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Then we found a random empty corridor with fire doors at the end and Kayleigh asked "Do you think they'd say something if we opened those and pulled in a bed?" and we started saying how'd we'd transform the corridor into a nice living place and how, somehow, we'd end up painting the walls. As we left, Kayleigh turned to the people hanging around the stairwell next to aforementioned corridor and said "Don't worry, we're potential buyers.' and we just left. The poor souls must've been quite bewildered.
We then went to the English staff room where Sarah went in for some reason. Whilst she was in there, Kayleigh, Mullinz and I ran for it. We sprinted down the corridor, sped through the Fuckchimp Arena and 'hid' under the stairs, panting and sniggering. She knew where we were. So we sat there for a while, just generally mucking about. Mullinz produced his phone and played 'Men In Black' theme and subsequently sent it to Kayleigh.




English, and Pete said he was doing Form A's individually and said he wouldn't be in the room. Fast forward about an hour, and Joe's phone rings. Jardine (whose name is spelt with a Z, rather than J...) laughs for no reason. Me and Nia just turn to each other like "It's really not funny." Jardine, who seemed to be wearing footwear like that of slippers, noticed because she kept giving us dark looks. Ah well.

We were analysing these texts and one of them was about landscaping and architechture. I turned to Nia and said "What do you think the audience of this text is? Probably middle-aged men with combovers who have nothing better to do than position fountains and trees to convey a particular meaning." This quickly moved on to the subject of gardens, and having one INSIDE the house. You'd say to a visitor 'Would you like to see the garden?' and they'd say 'Sure.' where you'd take them upstairs to one of the bed rooms and open it revealing a lawn, patio and a pond. This moved on again to converting your living room to a tropical rainforest where you'd have Monkey Butlers. A pretty cliched idea, I know, but hey, whatcha gonna do?

"Ethiopians Look a Bit Hungry.."

Is it funny to have a Thermos full of coffee in a lesson first thing Monday morning? Manda seemed to think it was. I told her "I like my coffee."

And why must nothing INTERESTING happen in my lessons? I suppose Luke did come in looking absolutely STONED out of his mind (half-open eyes, slow, rhythmic nodding) but besides that, the majority of the lesson was same as usual.

Near the end, Dave went out for something and Lee took the clock and set it 10 minutes forward. Boy, are we wild. Still, it worked. And I said that I felt hungry, Anne-Marie said I looked hungry.
Me: "How can you say someone looks hungry?"
Lee: "Dunno bout you, but I think Ethiopians look a bit hungry.."
Me, Elena, Manda and Anne-Marie just cracked up, making Lee feel a bit guilty that he'd said such a thing.


Really, that's the only thing that stood out for me today.

Mo's Life = Uninteresting and FAIL

Mo

2009 Brabus Tesla Roadster

Tesla Roadster is an electric vehicle from America. And because it's electric, it makes no noise as it's moving.

Brabus have decided to take one, and play about with it.
From this:

To this:

(from Brabus press release) 'To give the sports car a more exciting sound the BRABUS electronics specialists have developed a ‘space sound generator.’ The occupants on-board the Tesla Roadsters can choose from several simulated engine sounds including that of a typical V8 combustion engine, a racecar engine and two futuristic soundscapes named ‘Beam’ and ‘Warp.’ The volume of the sound is dependent on the momentary power output of the electric motor.'

Sorry? Futuristic soundscapes? WHY? Imagine an OAP crossing the road and all they hear is 'Warp' coming at them. They'd think aliens are beaming them up! Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of having pre-set sounds but why make synthetic sounds? The 'typical' V8 engine and racecar engine sounds are a great idea - less blind people getting mowed down by electric vehicles - but to make sounds up? C'mon Brabus, you can do better than that.

Mo

Is it sad?

Every year around this time, I look forward to one event- the SEMA show in America.

Specialist
Equipment
Markets
Association
for those who are wondering.
Basically, car manufacturers and specialist firms take some vehicles and do wacky things with them.

My favourite has to be this Chevrolet Camaro Black. Just look at it. How can you possibly say no to that?

Stuck firmly in the 'Mad' section is the Toyota Yaris Club, brought to us from Five Axis Design.
Can you imagine doing your weekly shop in that? No. Can you imagine a racing grid full of them? Yes.

The prize for Most Pointless Piece of Shit goes to Boulevard Customs for producing the Mercedes-Benz GLK Urban Whip. Quite how you can describe a car as being a 'whip', I don't know. You'd have to ask Snoopy Doggy Dog or whatever his name is.

I think the less said about this atrocity, the better.

If you MUST want a Mercedes GLK for whatever reason, this is the one to go for:

This is the Mercedes GLK Pikes Peak Racer from RENNtech. Yes, that is a massive rear wing on the back.

If racing is your thing, then Chevrolet have the right car for you: another Camaro!

This is the GS Racecar Concept. Please please PLEASE make this for a one-make race series Chevrolet. You know it makes sense.

That's just a small round-up of the stars that caught my eye, and now you all now how much of a car freak I am. Most of you will probably never touch this page again now.

Mo

"I shall turn into a frog and spontaneously combust!"

I think my Friday's might follow the same pattern- get up, watch Top Gear, do paper round and go off to college.

I got into college 20 minutes before my Crit Think lesson started and just sat around Gay Bay for that time. Not much happened.
Nothing really happened in my lesson either, we just watched some Kilroy for no reason whatsoever.

Would anything interesting happen in my lunch break then? Yes, actually. I wandered around aimlessly for about 20 minutes, and then adjorned to the library where I thumbed through NME. I got bored of that quite quickly, and I'd spotted Amber on her lonesome so I joined her one her 'Table of Lonliness'. Or so she called it. She told me she was swotting up on her maths after getting 54% on her last exam. But she pointed out that this was an improvement over her previous 52% score. Not much, but an improvement is an improvement.
We then started playing game upon game of Noughts & Crosses. The majority of matches we played no-one won. BUT we got bored of this and decided to mess around, saying we'd won with crooked lines and then it turned into Who Could Block Off An O/X. I decided that the blocked off X could leap frog round the grid and Amber came out with "I shall turn into a frog and spontaneously combust!" which made no sense whatsoever.
We then tried playing the Who Can Make A Square game (I have no idea if that's the actual name, but still...). Needless to say I failed miserably at that.

English, and... well it was the same as usual really. I do remember Jardine laughing WAY too much at something, but it must have been something really insignificant 'cos I'm buggered if I can remember.

Dad's over the weekend. Which means I'll have little or no computer access. However, Liz and I are being left to our own devices tomorrow night, so it should be ok.

Mo

An Epic Time Wasted

College finished at 1 today, so what did I do with my afternoon off? Came home and stuffed my face whilst watching over a B-spec race I had going on GT4. What a sad existance I lead.

Wind the clocks back to the start of the day, I got up feeling ok. I went downstairs to grab some food before I got the bus to college and I felt slightly.. drunk. It's the only way I could describe it! I told mum this and said "Does this make me an alcoholic?" Mum replied with "Did you get up too quick?"
"No, it's only since I've come downstairs."
It was all very wierd.
Later on the bus, I told Kayleigh the same thing and she too asked had I gotten up too quick. "No, I only felt like it when I got downstairs." She too was quite freaked by it. Then she told me and Laura how, after 2 weeks and 3 days of straight edge-ness she's begginning to feel the effects. Even so, I hope she can stick with it. Good luck Kayleigh.

English with Mel was... well, the same as it usually is really. Why are all my lessons boring as shite? No need to answer Kayleigh, I know it already.

In the main Foyer at 11, we had a 2 minute silence that turned into 11 minutes. The actual silence was 2 minutes, but we had a trumpet played and then the choir sang for a bit and then more trumpet. Afterwards, I heard some guy say "Bring on the trumpets!" Milli was all "Oh my god, I'm never gonna get that 11 minutes back!" I have to say, I'm with her on this one.

And then me, Kayleigh, Lozz and Aaron sat on the floor for a while, me being abused like I usually am. After about an hour or so, Kayleigh and Lozz went off to the cinema together whilst I came home and- well you read the first paragraph.

Here's to a more interesting tomorrow.

Mo

This Isn't A Pipe...

Waiting outside Dave's for what seemd like years, I turn to Manda and say "What would you do if Dave wasn't in and the lesson was cancelled?" She just looks at me and go "Martyn, don't say that! Now you've got me hoping that'll be the case." So Dave turns up and all Manda does is give me a disapproving look.



Dave's lesson was the same as always- copying down a boring old slideshow. I may get lynched for this (I do most days anywiz) but I think Ron's lessons are more exciting. I think it maybe the disruption my little troupe cause.

Anywiz, Dave brought up a picture of a pipe with the caption of 'Ceci n'est une pipe', which is french for this blogs title. Dave handily translated it for us and immediately after I blurted out "This is an M&S pipe." Is it bad that the only person who laughed is Dave?
Also, we were asked to captionise some pictures, one of which was a picture of a naked man in public. I suggested "I know I've forgotten something..." and Dave said that's what he had imagined the caption to be as well. It's quite terrible, having the same sense of humour as your Comm & Cult teacher, is it not?
Soon after, Anne-Marie asked Dave what his favourite band is, and he replied with Sonic Youth. He then went to ask our table (not the class, just OUR table) what our favourite bands are. My crap memory can't tell me what Manda's was, but Elena said Radiohead was one of her favourites. Dave agreed, moved onto me and I said AFI. He goes "Never heard of them." I told him to go and search them on Yout. I asked if he liked Rush at all and he said "Nah, they're too heavy metal for me." Rush are a prog rock band. Get it right Dave.

During the break, nothing really happened besides me getting my jeans torn into shorts which look a MESS. I don't know why I let Jae and Emily do it. but what's done is done I guess.

Mo

Shup Adolf.

Happily listening to Paramore, and Adolf walks in, not knocking or anything and announces "I can hear the sound through the ceiling, so next door's kids must be able to hear it. Turn it RIGHT down."

Who cares about next doors kids? They deserve it for fucking staring through our front window.
And I know it's over-used, but if it's too loud, you're too old.

Mo

FailCat

Spent my morning watching half of Episode 1 of Series 12 of Top Gear, making myself a fried egg sandwich for breakfast and doing my round. And sorting out my Student Travelpass.

I got to College and the fist person I saw was Bexiee. First thing I say to her? "You got 30p I can borrow?" I hadn't had a drink all morning, and was gasping for a Relentless. Luckily, she did have the money, so I was able to hydrate and hyper up. Even if I don't get hyper on Relentless.
Halfway through my can, Louis from my Crit Think class came over (I had the lesson next) and we saw Amy and we decided to waltz to the class together.
Lori's lesson wasn't bad, but nothing stood out. Nothing in Crit Think ever does.

Lunch break, and Lauren decides to attack me with her silver paint pen and Sarah's Sharpie pen. I was transformed into FailCat. Both Kayleigh and Sarah took photos of the occaision. And Sarah wrote 'I *heart* RON' on the floor where she was sat. That was quite funny.

English with Pete wasn't bad. We had to print and bring in e-mails for the lesson and I picked a fantastically crap spam I got sent a while back. Nia and I spent a few minutes laughing at how crap the whole idea of Spam is. Then she noticed the front of my notepad (specifically a Cyanide & Happiness-esque comic strip) and said "Looks like Cyanide and Happiness." I confessed, saying it was an inspiration of mine. She then proceeded to give me a couple of other webcomics to look at (which I haven't yet...).

After college, I walked to Town with Kayleigh and Sarah which was fairly hilarious. Especially since Kayleigh and I were acting out different Javey scenarios. Then we went our seperate ways.

LYDIARD FIREWORKS TOMORROW!

Mo

P.s- HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!