Punch & Judy Face.

You know I'm right.

Question.

How many Fuckers In A Suit does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Kevin Bacon.

The Voice

D'you like my college magazine propaganda?

Spectacular, no?

My Print Credit

Is £8.50. Considering this is only the first half term of the college year, and I started off with £20, that's a lot of printing. Blame Lozz, for printing centuries of pictures.

Mo

Hmm.

Fucking boo. The My Passion gig was ace (I'll do a proper post about that when I can be arsed) but that's really the only thing that's stood out so far.

Oh, I had a job interview for the college library today. Scoff all you want, but I'll be earning more in 3 hours than I do for a whole week on my paper round, so STFU. As it turns out, Michael from my English class also had an interview. We had English before our interviews, so we were having a war over who'd get it, and then if we both get it (somehow), we'd be like the Good Cop/Bad Cop of the library, me being the former. Won't know until tomorrow whether I've got it or not, so keep your fingers crossed for me.

Mo

Not Much

Weirdest sense of deja vu just before I started typing. I went to type what I was thinking, and then went "Hang on, haven't I done this before?" Turns out I haven't.

Sorry for the lack of updates this week; nothing particularly interesting has happened. A few things here and there, but overall this week has been boring.

I'ma list the 'interesting' aspects:

• Mel wasn't in for English on Wednesday. We were in a religion room with several arguments written on the board. Ryan, Mallory & I had fun desecrating most of them. Dumbledore was crucified because Voldemort wrote the bible. Betcha didn't know that.
• Lozz half-filled her bottle, announced it looked like anti-freeze and proceeded to pour it in a nearby bin.
• I realised that Tramp is the most useless teacher ever. She went to a computer that wasn't on, and wiggled the mouse to try and wake it up. When she'd finished with the projector, she turned the PC monitor off to try and get rid of the projector image from the board. I have a technological dipshit for English.

In other news, Laurence Rene has decided to completely ignore my offer for mini-golf. I wouldn't mind if he said no, at least it would be an answer. But to just completely brush it off, I'm sorry Lau, it's just plain rude. Never mind, I'll just beat him... sorry, ask Kayleigh to beat him for me in 2 days. Well I won't be able to do it, will I?

Mo

Fuckin' 'ell.

Another run in with Pigeon today. Lozz, Kayleigh and I were just sat at GB, when guess what? The fucking coward dropped two plastic cups of water from the top floor. And he missed. I like how he doesn't have whatever reproductive organs a male pigeon has to actually do anything within reach. Of anyone. Always from the other side of the fucking globe.

Although, he showed he had at least some sort of backbone by verbally abusing us ON HIS OWN. I would say I'm proud of him, but I'd be lying. And I'd probably have to murder myself for saying so. However, he only said it on passing, and continued to walk away.
We decided that, actually, we aren't going to put up with his bird shit any longer. We stormed to Nige's class (he was teaching at the time) and had to wait for millenia for him to finally come talk to us. Thankfully, he didn't just say 'Oh, talk to Duncan Webster.' like the useless man did last time. I think he could see how distraught Kayleigh was. We traipsed through Student Services and back through to the English block. As luck would have it, we saw Pigeon, gazing out the window which he so wishes he could lick. Lozz did a really obvious "It's him." for Nigel. Bird-face was oblivious due to the headphones he had in. Probably listening to the mating calls of other birds. And, as it turns out, Ron actually teaches the fucker. And because Kayleigh and Lozz were in his lesson, they explained everything with some help from me.

As they were signing something (not entirely sure), Hayley and I were stood outside talking, when, lo and fucking behold, there he was. I don't think he noticed me, because he went into his class without fuss. Because he was on his own. Shock bloody horror.

Whilst Kayleigh, Lozz and Hayley were in their lessons, I went to the library to fill in an application form for a vacancy they have (remind me to finish that off.) and, you're never going to believe this, in HE swaggers. WHY AM I SEEING HIM EVERYWHERE!? I DON'T WANT HIS BIRD AIDS! Anywhore, I'm sat there, and in my misfortune, he finds a 'friend' on the table opposite me. He slams down his folder so it reverberates through the library and then says "What the fuck you lookin' at?" to someone who'd obviously heard the sonic boom he created. What a cunt. He must've seen me at some point, because I heard him slagging me off to this poor person he'd decided to terrorise. I know it was me, because I heard the words 'ginger emo'. Well done, like I haven't heard that before. I think he thinks I'm offended by it. I'm ginger. I dress in the emo style. GET OVER IT. I could've sworn he said something about 'battering' me outside college. I honestly wish I'd said to him "If you're going to threaten me, do it to my face." and then recorded what he said. I had my MP3 player, which records sound quite clearly. Why don't I think on my feet? FFS. At least then, we'd have hard evidence against him, as well as witnesses from GB.

Also, I couldn't help but notice that his new haircut (which, by the way, is appalling) makes his head look really tiny. I had to laugh on the inside. Oh, wattacock.

Mo

FUCKING A!

Bravo to My Passion.

You may have read Kayleigh's rant about 'evanescencerawks', and how she literally spoke shit about My Passion on the video to Day of the Bees, and she got a huge abount of backlash for it. Safe to say it kind of escalated, and, upon looking this morning, I found this:

I think it's great how My Passion came up with a legitimate reason for deleting this shitbag's nonsensical argument.

7 DAYS 'TIL THE THEKLA! <33

Mo

Surprise Surprise

Mum's out at work, and Adolf has taken it upon himself to cook tea. Well, I say cook...
We had pizza, because it's the only damn thing he can be bothered to make.

Feck.

You may recall in one of my holiday blogs (Monday 17th August) that I said Adolf may be being made redundant.

Guess what? Yes, although he's still on contract for 10 weeks, Adolf has no job. Fuck.
He was given £400 to go spend on a suit for interviews from a friend. He was supposed to be sorting out his cv this weekend. So far, he's spent it playing Age of bloody Empires.

Mo

Jailhouse Rock

Kayleigh got her letter in Kerrang!, which is good times. She was especially pleased that it came with a picture of Gustav. And then she proceeded to shred the magazine, stripping it of all the good bits. And massacring the bad bits. Thank god it didn't have Bert McCracken in it.

Throwing spare change/empty bottles/anything at Mullinz should be everyone's favourite pastime. It kept Lozz, Kayleigh and I happy, even if we hit a few bystanders. Sorry bout that. Lozz and Kayleigh were talking about True Blood and were saying how a character strangled a hooker to death, and Mullinz retorted with "Yeah, but so did that man in Ipswich." Cue hysteria.

After my lesson, I couldn't find anyone, so I walked to Walcot and got myself some lunch, as well as the latest Top Gear mag. Got back to college, sat down to read the mag, and in the 'Feedback' section, I found MY letter had been printed! Oh happy days!

Met Kayleigh after her media lesson, although I saw her walk into GB, and say "Where's Mo? What a midget!". From where I was standing, it sounded like she said 'what a pigeon'...

On the walk to town, we revisited Kayleigh's idea of buying a prison and letting everyone out. Then she went on to say how she's make it a hotel-cum-rock venue. The mess hall would be the actual venue, and the cells would be accomodation, albeit slightly more comfy, and without the fear of having a big black man named Bubba going "You my little puppy now!" Oh yes.

Mo

I'm So 'Ungry

This is beyond desperation. It's about survoival.

I find it weird how Pez doesn't bully me unless Kayleigh and Lozz are around... Hmm, intriguing.

Ro's a fat kid. He's never not hungry, y'see. We established this when I accompanied him to get another toasted panini. I had to make do with a 'savoury cheese' bap. That had some onion in. Not that I'm complaining, it's just the wrapping doesn't mention onion.

Communication with Dave was alright. Watched an episode of The Mighty Boosh (my first ever, and 'The Nightmare of Milky Joe' for those interested) for the majority of it. English wasn't bad, had a few laughs, didn't do much in the way of work. Just like usual then.

Bus surfing was fun. Some guy was wearing a mac with contour lines on. Kayleigh noticed this and said "Sorry, Map!" Quite hilaire.

Mo

Nice Car

Due to some fault of some driver, our precious Swedish tank of a Volvo has had to go in for repairs :( The passenger side door creaks when opened, and the headlight is buggered. So, whilst that's getting fixed, we have a courtesy car, in the form of a Daihatsu Sirion. Despite the name, the car really isn't interesting. It's a silly, base model hatchback from Japan. Which means it should be interesting. Boo.

Mo

P.S: Nothing really happened today, except Kayleigh made Debby go and take a chlamydia test, just so she could have a pink sperm keyring. She's called it John Be the Tadpole.

Wordpress? Nah, I'll Stick With Blogger.

Sat here in Journalism, looking at 25 things to future-proof your career. Number one is to start a blog. Okay, I have. Had one for about a year (although you'd be surprised by the frankly pathetic number of updates. My bad.) and apparently, some of the top journalists have a blog. I wonder if Clarkson has one...

Blogger isn't the best one to use, apparently. Wordpress is recommended, as is Posterous. They're all the same to me, really. Yes, some of them may have options for fancy layouts and such, but really, isn't blogging about what your write, not how it looks?
I don't see the point in making another blog, simply based on reputation or user friendly ness. Not when I have a perfectly functioning Blogspot. Ta.

Mo

I'm not saying I believe...

...in this horoscope-esque fate destiny shit, but I took a "How good will tomorrow be" quiz thing on Facebook yesterday. I would show you, but it would appear I was sceptical and decided to not post it. Anyway, the result I got was 12%. See my cynicism?

12% seemed about right. I had to do both mine and Liz's round as payback for her covering for me yesterday. Mine went off without a hitch. Liz's, however, went a little pear shaped. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but somehow I flew off the bike. I sensed the bike falling down, and so leapt from the saddle, arms outstretched in front of me. I felt like a less spectacular superman. The outcome of my flight? Scuffed up hands, a battered knee and a hole in my skinnies. Yeah, I was not best pleased. Some woman was in her car, and saw everything. She leaned out the window and asked "Are you alright?" She noticed I was checking myself over and said "Only a few grazes?" I said "Yeah, I've had worse." She had no idea how serious I was.

After my incident, I got home and, lo and behold, it started raining. Brilliant. I wanted to sit down for a bit, but Liz badgered me to get off and out into town.
The bus journey was awful. Some stupid Chav was playing noise from his phone at an unnecessary volume, and there was a group of people behind us talking too loud. I really hated that. Especially since I had a foggy head and just felt generally miserable. I reckon it was the rain.

The day eventually perked up though :D I love my town days with Liz; we always have barrels of laughs. I almost walked into Spack Legs, which was funny. I turned around, saw her and went "UGH!" really loudly. Liz found this hilarious.

I could go into massive massive detail, but I'm not going to lie to you: I can't be bothered :)
So until next time...

Mo

Aaah shit.

What a fucking slacker.

I gravely and humbly apologise for the horrid horrid lack of updates. Even if no one actually reads this. Ever.

Still, if I attempt to regularly update this, I can add 'blogging' as an interest to my cv. Which can help if you're wanting to be a journalist.

I know I've said this before, but I actually, properly mean it this time: I promise to update more. Hopefully then I'll get some sort of readership, and make this whole blogging worthwhile.

Mo