Monday 12 October 2009

Fuckin' 'ell.

Another run in with Pigeon today. Lozz, Kayleigh and I were just sat at GB, when guess what? The fucking coward dropped two plastic cups of water from the top floor. And he missed. I like how he doesn't have whatever reproductive organs a male pigeon has to actually do anything within reach. Of anyone. Always from the other side of the fucking globe.
Although, he showed he had at least some sort of backbone by verbally abusing us ON HIS OWN. I would say I'm proud of him, but I'd be lying. And I'd probably have to murder myself for saying so. However, he only said it on passing, and continued to walk away.
We decided that, actually, we aren't going to put up with his bird shit any longer. We stormed to Nige's class (he was teaching at the time) and had to wait for millenia for him to finally come talk to us. Thankfully, he didn't just say 'Oh, talk to Duncan Webster.' like the useless man did last time. I think he could see how distraught Kayleigh was. We traipsed through Student Services and back through to the English block. As luck would have it, we saw Pigeon, gazing out the window which he so wishes he could lick. Lozz did a really obvious "It's him." for Nigel. Bird-face was oblivious due to the headphones he had in. Probably listening to the mating calls of other birds. And, as it turns out, Ron actually teaches the fucker. And because Kayleigh and Lozz were in his lesson, they explained everything with some help from me.
As they were signing something (not entirely sure), Hayley and I were stood outside talking, when, lo and fucking behold, there he was. I don't think he noticed me, because he went into his class without fuss. Because he was on his own. Shock bloody horror.
Whilst Kayleigh, Lozz and Hayley were in their lessons, I went to the library to fill in an application form for a vacancy they have (remind me to finish that off.) and, you're never going to believe this, in HE swaggers. WHY AM I SEEING HIM EVERYWHERE!? I DON'T WANT HIS BIRD AIDS! Anywhore, I'm sat there, and in my misfortune, he finds a 'friend' on the table opposite me. He slams down his folder so it reverberates through the library and then says "What the fuck you lookin' at?" to someone who'd obviously heard the sonic boom he created. What a cunt. He must've seen me at some point, because I heard him slagging me off to this poor person he'd decided to terrorise. I know it was me, because I heard the words 'ginger emo'. Well done, like I haven't heard that before. I think he thinks I'm offended by it. I'm ginger. I dress in the emo style. GET OVER IT. I could've sworn he said something about 'battering' me outside college. I honestly wish I'd said to him "If you're going to threaten me, do it to my face." and then recorded what he said. I had my MP3 player, which records sound quite clearly. Why don't I think on my feet? FFS. At least then, we'd have hard evidence against him, as well as witnesses from GB.
Also, I couldn't help but notice that his new haircut (which, by the way, is appalling) makes his head look really tiny. I had to laugh on the inside. Oh, wattacock.

Mo

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