At Last! But For The Best?

I'm officially back in college! *cheers, applause etc.* Took it's frickin' time, and some pushing from my tutor, I will admit (Her name is Silva Gems. I shit you not.) but I'm in. Had to okay it with my teachers which was terrifying to say the least. I knew they wouldn't be too enthusiastic about letting me back in, but boy, they were extreme. Maybe I'm exaggerating when it comes to Dave and Una but Pete.... *sucks teeth* I was lucky to get on. He's warned me if anything slips up, I'm off. Gulp.
But now that I'm in, starting a proper week next week, I find myself questioning my actions. Yes, I want to boost up my grades, but have I really done the right thing? What if, after all of this, I find that my best is my best, and I come out with the same results? A colossal waste of a year, and then what? Destined to spend my life working in mediocre jobs because I'm just academically crap?
I suppose I should be optimistic, and say to myself "C'mon, you can do this!" and, inside, I know I can do better but when I have these niggling thoughts in the back of my mind, it's hard to stick to it.
However, upon my return, a few friends didn't seem to be overwhelmed that I was back. Either they were, and they didn't show it, or they just weren't that bothered. Either way, I have a few other friends in college now, and new people to meet in different classes, so that gives me a chance to branch out.

I guess one factor playing to my doubts is the amount of work I've been doing at Skechers. As much as I may hate it sometimes, especially mid week when no bugger comes in, I've really enjoyed just going in and having a laugh with the other guys. Whilst it might not be the best option (I am only part time, after all), the thought of dropping college altogether and going into work proper has crossed my mind. Whilst it's not my original plan, it does seem like a good option, especially with the hours I've been putting in at the moment. It's handy having a good source of income when I have things like driving lessons to pay for, it lets me have some disposable income. But then do I want to ditch my chances of getting better grades thus a better job, just for the sake of more dinero?

As you can see, there is a continuous battle in my head at the moment, and quite frankly, I'm not enjoying it.

Until next time,

Mo