You'll Strangle Yer Eyes!

Got back from my grandparents today and I have to say the time I spent up there was good.

TUESDAY
Only thing that really happened was my cousin Fiona came round to do her Virgin Vie party (basically sell a load of beauty products) and she brought James with her. I commented on James' Billabong hat, saying "Why're you wearing a tea-cosy on your head?" It really did look like a tea cosy. He got me back by commenting my height (or rather lack of). I then had a nice jacket potato with prawns. Fiona was gutted we didn't leave her any prawns. I didn't care, and James and I had bowls of ice cream we were munching on. Ver' nice!
Fi also straightened my hair properly, doing the underneath bits and evrything. I loved it when it was done.
'Party' time and Liz and I were forced to sit in the middle of this circle of women, both young and old. Mind you, I got two packs of Haribo out of it so it wasn't all bad.

WEDNESDAY
Woke up late, and enjoyed a nice boiled egg for breakfast. Then walked to Morrisons with Mum, Liz and Grandma. Bought a tub of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream *drools* Love that stuff.
We got back and then we went out for lunch at a very nice pub. I had Red Snapper for the first time and it was very delicious. Red Snapper is fish by the way. Then for pudd'n, I had what was called a Frozen Chocolate Orange Bombe. Basically some orange syrup stuff covered in chocolate ice cream and served frozen. 'Twas very tasty when I got into it. Afterwards I just spent the day lazing around.

THURSDAY
Had smoked haddock for breakfast this morning. My GOD, what a gorgeous breakfast! Complete with orange juice, it has to be the most English breakfast I've possibly had xD
Spent the day lazing around really, reading, watching Danger Mouse. Where I was sat, I couldn't see the TV all that well, but I couldn't be bothered to move but I still tried to watch it. Grandpa walks in and says to me "You'll strain your eyes!" but I could've sworn he said "You'll strangle yer eyes!"


That was pretty much the most exciting things that happened whilst I was at my grandparents. And tomorrow I'm meeting Lozz in town, so that should be good.

MoFail

P.S I FORGOT! IT FUCKIN SNOWED ON TUESDAY NIGHT! It looked like this on the following morning:
CRAZY!

Hi ho, hi ho...

So, off to my Grandparents' tomorrow. In Reading.

So no updates for the next 2/3 days. Not that you'll care much anyway.

MoFail

Fucking Hairdryers

On my way back from my round, these two chavs are riding down the FOOTPATH on their elastic band-driven hairdryers (i.e mopeds)

It's called a footpath for a reason, asswipes.

Fucking British Summertime

Why must our clocks go forward and back? Going back an hour isn't good when you're at an all-night party.

All-night party + Clocks going back an hour = unbearably long day.

LIAR!

I'm pissed off. My Top Gear magazine told me a new series would be starting tonight. It says 'Top Gear will be back on air 26th October 8PM'

THE HELL IT WAS! Adolf looked on topgear.com and it says it's actually starting NEXT weekend.

For fucks sake Nigel.

MoFail

"We'll Get You To Nazi Germany"

Pirate Party was good... from what I can remember.

So I got there with Kayleigh and Aaron and there was some fun going on already. Dudley was thrilled when he saw me: he got up from the sofa, took me by the shoulders and said to me "Don't worry, Richard, we'll get you to Nazi Germany." and walked off, leaving me slightly bewildered. Keri arrived and was also pleased to see me. She offered me some of her Fosters and I obliged. Both Keri and Jae started chanting "Chug, chug, chug!" and I ended up dribbling. Not a good look.
Then I ended up in Nate's room playing Guitar Hero. After about 2 songs I got bored so went on the hunt for my own drink. I found my own can of Fosters in the kitchen, but not before Kayleigh ordered me to take a whacking great slug of whiskey.
I finished my first can of Fosters quite quickly, crushed the can against my head and went for a second.
Out in the back garden, Jae was showing off by wheelying in a wheelchair. He did fairly well, only falling off twice and then offered me the chair. I obliged ans decided to go off-road in it. I got stuck. So I finished my second can of Fosters, crushed the can against my head and... passed out. In a wheelchair. I hope there are no pictures...
So I was out of it for the whole night basically. I got woken up by a text from Loz and I think I may have scared her in my reply. Somehow I got from the back, to the front of the house, and I have no recollection of how it happened. I remember hearing Benji's voice but that's the only Benji I encountered that night- I didn't see him whatsoever. I crashed on the sofa in the front room where some nice girl sat next to me holding my hand. I kept apologising for not knowing her name. All I know is she was blonde, but there were a few blonde girls there. No doubt we'll see each other in college...
Then I was CARRIED up to Joel's room by 7 people and dumped on the bed to sober up. Kayleigh came and stroked my hair for god knows how long. Jae announced I had a new nickname - Jonny Two-Pints - and I noticed a poster of Joels that I found interesting. "What the fuck is Jizzy Tissue doing alongside those bands!?" The bands in question were The Enemy and The Wombats and Jizzy Tissue was Lethal Bizzle. Kayleigh was intrigued as to how I got Jizzy Tissue out of Lethal Bizzle so I explained to her about Top Gear Of The Pops from last year where Clarkson described him as Jizzy Tissue.
Dudley joined us and started saying "Richard, you are ginger, but that's alright." He wouldn't shut up. He also yelled at me "Why aren't you making the fucking gravy!?", spitting in my jug as he did.
Then there's a gap inbetween that and being woken up and told to leave Joels room. So I went back downstairs and played more Guitar Hero and Midnight Club 3 in Nate's room. Then we stuck on a Blink 182 DVD and stuck the 5/6 videos on continuous. I got bored of that so joined Chris, Jade, Aaron Kayleigh and Matt back in the front room. Strictly speaking, Matt was fast asleep so he doesn't really count. But we were there, talking about nothing important and then we all scrunched up on the sofa and tried to get at least some sleep. It worked. Kinda.

Morning came and what was left of us piled into the front room and started talking about the previous night and various mishaps (Joel and Nate had a fight, Joel hugged Poppy saying "Dudley, I love Poppy." and other such happenings.) Upon opening the curtains to see grey skies and rain, Dudley exclaimed "Look what a shit day it is!" Chris had to leave us for work and Aaron's parents kindly lifted Kayleigh and I back to our respective homes.



In my defence, I will say that I drank on an empty stomach so the alcohol affected me worse than usual.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.

Hamlyn for £2 and Cheese Ovaries.

Met up with Kayleigh in town and had a very nice time.

We first went to Greggs so Kayleigh could get something to eat and a woman in the queue asked for something that I misheard as 'Cheese Ovary'. I told Kayleigh this and a disgusted look appeared on her face. We noticed an offer on sausage rolls whereby you could buy 4 for £2. However, we refuse to acknowledge 4, instead we call it Hamlyn (long story). And so it turned into Hamlyn for £2. *shudder*.
We then spent a fair bit of time people watching, and laughing at various knobs. One in question was talking on his phone with a very very big smile on his face. We decided that he was gay and talking to his boyfriend. I wouldn't put it past him.
We then went to find Milli in Primark. That didn't take long at all xD We had a brief chat with her and then went elsewhere.
We ventured back into the Brunel and Kayleigh decided to take me into a photo booth for pictures we wouldn't be paying for...
We then walked to the Outlet Village where I met her friends Gary and Kelsey. It was nice meeting them. Kelsey said I wasn't quite the Mo she had pictured. I wonder how she did picture me...
We then ended up back in Town where we bumped into Joel. He asked Kayleigh if she was going to his Pirate Party and she said yes. They were talking about the party for a while and then Joel, who hardly knows me, said to me "You can come if you want." Result.

And so Kayleigh and I formulated a plan that she comes to mine, talks to Aaron on MSN to arrange transport for me and we go to hers so he can pick both of us up there. It worked.

Expect to see an entry about aforementioned party.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.

P.S Kayleigh and I also decided that the number 2 should be eradicated, following suit of Jade Puget. We now count as follows: 1, 3, Hamlyn, 5 and so on...

"Any Reason Why You Look Like A Prick?"

Dressed up for college today. What a fucking palavour!

Since I couldn't get my Nurse Joker outfit sorted, I decided to punk it up. So that meant styling my normally style-less hair. Fun.
Let me tell you, mohawking long hair is not fun. The tips kept flopping over so I decided to hairdry the gel so it would stay. Didn't work. So I used some coloured gel I had, and that worked better. I then decided to spray the right side of my hair green and the left side red. All in all, 3 layers on my hair. Needless to say it was SOLID. Complete the outfit with too many fake piercings, safety pinned jeans, t-shirt with snotty slogan, leather jacket and cheap punk style gloves, and I'm ready to hit the road.

First off, getting credit at my local TESCO. Someone I know was doing work exp there and they saw me. They just said "I'm not gonna ask. Most fake piercings I've seen in my life." and then when I was served, the woman behind the counter didn't say much to me. I wonder why...

Next, the bus journey. I got on the bus, and not soon after a young boy and his father boarded, sitting a few rows in front of me. I caught the kid staring at me with awe. Bless 'im.
Then I walked through town. Luckily I got through unscathed xD

I entered college, and people weren't sure what to make of me. Sarah saw me and called "Mo!" and promptly took a picture. Xander announced to everyone that I was angry at the Government and shouted "Fuck Thatcher!" quite loudly. Shame I had to go to lesson soon after.

Critical Thinking. I walked in and Amy peered round Lori. Her comment- "Wow!" Lori said the same. Shaun just said "What the..?" and Jess decided I looked kind of like John Travolta. Ben turned round and replied "How do you see John Travolta in that!?" Thanks Ben. Johnny, who was on the same bus as me, said "You were the guy I sat next to one the bus! I didn't recognise you!" I don't blame him.

Hour break, and Mullinz decided to take up Laura's mantle of Passion Killer (see Shy Girls Lose) by offering 'poppadom' whenever Loz and I decided to have intimate moments. The urge to crunch his nose was unbearable.

English was ok- I was late and Pete had a quick word. I walked in, sat down and Nia turns to me and says "So, any reason why you look like a prick?" I think that phrase just sums up todays outfit. I just said "Why not?"

Afterwards, I had a nice time with Loz and then was late meeting Tash in the outlet. Oops. Anyway, met up with Tash for a brief time and had a nice chat about iPods and Deathnote.

Having a shower was great- I HAVE MY HAIR BACK!

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.

P.S Bless Milli- on noticing my fake piercings, one of which was my septum, she said twice "You should get your septum done."

Backy Takes Over.

Oh dear lord.

It would seem Jack Backwell's habit of shortening words is spreading.

Kayleigh saying 'Shug, Calc and Vits' and I've just replied to a comment:

'They needed someone who could work 30 hours unfortch.'

Unfortch? UNFORTCH?

I blame Nigel.



Your friendly neighbourhood Mo

Goat Fucker

Oops. It seems I haven't updated all week. Time to rely on my memory, and pick out the best bits...



MONDAY: Elena and I again had a Win-Fail war. To be honest, that is getting quite boring. But when Dave started talking to us about genre, he gave an example of heavy metal. He said 'If you saw a cd with a band dressed in lots of leather and beards with a name like.. I don't know, GOAT FUCKER, you'd expect them to play metal.' The name Goat Fucker reduced one girl to hysterics for a few minutes. That was the only exeptional thing that happened really.

TUESDAY: Nothing much happened at college, the day only livened up when I went to Scouts. Basically I spent the night running round Lydiard Park in the semi-darkness (damned light pollution). That was good.

WEDNESDAY: Again, not much happened besides Communication with Ron. Ron had mixed up our usual seating arrangement so that Elena and I had Amanda sat between us. But that changed after the break- back to business as usual xD. Then I walkied to Town with Kayleigh and Bexiie. Bexiie was on about how she had 36 friends on MySpace (I have 76) and Kayleigh turns and says bluntly 'I don't care.' Classic.
After I did my paper round, I went to meet Dan, Gary, Debbie, Kim, Katie (I think) and others on the top floor of Debenhams car park. One of the best moments was when Katie took off her bra, showed it to everyone and said 'Is this not the biggest bra you ever did see?' Dan agreed, took it from her, walked over to the edge of the carpark and DROPPED THE BRA. That. Was. HILARIOUS! Katie went down to retrieve it, pissed off needless to say.

THURSDAY: I decided to go to Tim's Critical Thinking lesson and regretted it. Why did I leave my DS at home!?
Tutor One-on-One meetings, although Sarah and Lauren were both there xD They had theirs as well. We spent most of the time cracking eachother up. It's Nigels fault. When Kayleigh had her tutor, we sat outside being general idiots xD Good day.

So that's the highlights of my week. Maybe next week I'll update on a daily basis...

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.

"Cex Is Just PISSING Me Off!"

Today has been alright. Met up with Hayley in Freshbrook so we could wander into town together. We got to town and met with Jen and her friends and then we kind of drifted apart... Ah well. I haven't towned it with Hayley in ages so s'all good.

First we toddled to Trinket Box so Hayley could change her lip piercing. She got a pink one. Then we went to Giggles and Skywalkers looking for wigs (why not?) to no avail. So we headed back for the centre to Partyland, see if we could get anything there. We didn't. So we trawled through the Brunel centre for a bit, stopping off for me to hand in CV's to Hawkins Bizaare and The Collectors Corner. We then went to Waterstones to look for a burlesque book for Hayley. I don't know why we were doing this, but whilst we were we bumped into Jen and her friends. They went downstairs whilst Hayley and I went to Maccy D's to get some lunch. Cheeseburger happy meals yo! We sat outside since it was a glorious day where some people were celebrating the life of John Peel, and a few local bands played some stuff. All in all quite loud.

After, we waltzed over to Cex to see if I could sell my games, since they advertise 'We Buy Your Games and DVDs for CASH!' I got in there and they had a notice that they weren't buying goods for cash. For the 4th time of me trying. Cex has pissed me off. I'm considering boycotting the damn place. After that, I was a bit hacked off, and shouted "Cex is just PISSING me off!" although I pronounce Cex as sex so to passers by, it may have sounded quite strange...

We then wandered into the centre somewhere where Ash texted me announcing his arrival in town. I replied saying we were by the Big Silver Clock. He met us there and upon noticing my hair, he says "Looking all Emo fuck today Martyn." Cheers Ash.

So we wandered around Town for not a long time at all when we got bored and started walking back to West Swindon. We got most of the way there and Hayley stopped at a bus stop- "My feet hurt and I feel crap so I'm waiting for a bus." Ash carried on walking and I stayed with Hayley. I think that pissed Ash off. The bus came and we got to ASDA when we passed Ash. I got off, saying goodbye to Hayley and rejoined Ash. We then went over to his for a spot of Guitar Hero. Needless to say I failed. Although not as bad as Ash when he decided it'd be a good idea to use the Hyperspeed cheat and put it on 5. Playing Dragonforce. On Expert. Mind you, he also used the 'No Fail' cheat, so it quite humourous watching.

Then I went home, had tea, blah blah blah. End.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.

Old Town Registration Plates

I very almost missed the bus this morning. Oh dear.

Not that it mattered since I 'forgot' to go to Tim's Critical Thinking lesson... But anyway, I spent the two hours in Gay Bay rather than being bored outta my mind. The occupants of Gay Bay for these hours were: Milli, Dudley, Jenny and Maggot for the first hour, and then Maaike joined us for some of the second hour.

Conversation topic for the duration of the first hour- Milli's funeral. Apparently, when Milli dies, she wants to be Taxidermied. Apparently, that's illegal. Except in Alabama. So, we hatched a marvelous plan- when Milli is on her death bed, we'd fly her to Alabama and taxiderm her there. Quite.
We kind of gave up on that plan, and started talking about funeral proceedings instead. Milli told us that she wanted to be placed atop a weed bonfire, drenched in Tequila and set alight. So this sparked off funeral plannings for Dudley's funeral. Maggot suggested put him in a Viking Longboat, push it out on a lake and flaming arrows are shot at this 'coffin boat' so it bursts into flame in the middle of a lake.
We then decided that funeral's were a bit of a morbid subject so we started talking about wedding days. Milli isn't going to have a Maid of Honour, but a Maid of Horror. Fair enough. Then Dudley turned to me and suggested we get together. We decided that Chris was gonna be either the Vicar (wouldn't Chris be a great vicar?) or Dudley's Best Man. Sorry Dudley, still haven't got a date xD

Whilst we're on the subject of Dudley, he announced to everyone that he'd spent the night alone in the middle of Old Town, stoned. Apparently, it was 'fucking cold'. He came in carrying what I can only describe as a tent bag. He showed the contents of this bag and he had stolen 5 registration plates. He also shared his brilliant but useless invention- Bullet-proof registration plates.

Conversation topic of hour 2: Debates on who was better/fitter. This was when Maaike had joined us. Maggot had in her possession all 3 Pirates of the Carribbean DVD's. Of course this sparked off a huge arguemtn of which film Johnny Depp was fitter in. Maggot took an incredibly long time deliberating this. Even then I don't think she came up with an answer. We spent the remainder of the time facing each other with Person vs Person debates. I can't remember the majority of these people, but all I know is Mike said "It all comes down to this: M Shadows or Synyster Gates?" I looked at him and replied "Zacky Vengeance." Then, rather than just including film/music stars, we turned our attention to TV stars. Well, more Mike did when he said "Dr. Cox or JD?" I think the majority vote was for JD. then Mike suggested Elliot or Jordan. I went for Elliot.

When the two hours of 'lesson' were over, I started circling the stairs for no good reason. I quickly got bored of this so went to play more Mario Kart on my DS. Then Loz came and we soon had to wander up to Tutor with Nigel. That was as useless as ever. Sarah was given a new timetable which still wasn't right. I was so tempted to yell at Nigel "Damn it Nigel, can't you do anything right!?" Evrything is Nigel's fault y'see. Fact.

For the proceeding three hours of break (Kayleigh's break, I coulda gone home) I sat with Loz and Sarah in the library whilst they attempted to do their english homework. Aaron and Kayleigh soon joined us and we had a jolly good time just sat their talking about nothing. Kayleigh was highly amused by one of Sarah's monkehs as she kept flailing it's arms around. If I admit, it was pretty hilarious. After two hours, Loz had to go to photography. I followed, since I had forgotten my zipper at the Gay Bay.
I returned to the library where more monkeh madness ensued. Then Kayleigh wanted to get some Relentless so we left the library. Well, she saw Tom Mullins on the way out which could only mean one thing- hours of non-stop laughter. When those two get together they are MENTAL!
Soon after, Kayleigh and Srah went off for their lesson and I headed home.

I almost fell asleep on the bus! I was sat there, listening to my music almost nodding off. I decided to get off the bus and walk to wake myself up. The fact that I saw my sister and her friends helped also. I say friends, there is one guy whom we all don't like- Tom. It's been a while since I saw him last and he hasn't really changed. He still can't ride a bike xD and as he was cycling off, long blonde hair flowing bahind him, I turned to everyone else- "You what Tom reminds me of? A Barbie doll." Not the face, just the hair. That's how crap this guy is xD Everyone laughed and agreed.

So to summarise: Milli wants everyone stoned at her funeral, Dudley has learnt not to spend the night in Old Town (I hope), EVERYTHING is Nigel's fault, Kayleigh + Mullins = BAD!, Tom = Barbie.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo

"You'll Always Be Santa To Me."

LOL! On the bus this morning, the bus driver cocked up- where he should've turned left, he went straight on. I didn't complain, it took me closer to college.

This morning was good, got in and met with the crew. Jae was in at twenty to nine, even though his lesson didn't start until FIVE. He's mental, is Jae. Saw Kayleigh and gave her her jacket she'd left behind back.

Communication with Dave was fun, Elena and I spent pretty much the whole lesson playing 'I Win'- basically one of us would say/do something and the other would try and beat it. If they failed, the challenger would say "I win! Fail!" to the other person. Yes, it's a pointless game but it passed the time. I think I won several times.
After the lesson we met Zander randomly and started talking about random crap, including the fact that Elena hasn't seen The Dark Knight (fail) or the Rejected Cartoons by Don Hertzfelt (another fail). Upon my mentioning of these epic 'toons, Zander agreed that Elena failed, stating that "His [Don] pencil isn't graphite, it's win!" I was inclined to agree.
Zander then left us for his lesson and so Elena and I went on our way to the Gay Bay. Elena was called by on of her chums and she said she was on the second floor when really, she was on the first. Yet another fail, Elena.

We got to the Gay Bay and discovered a small pole, the type that you find with velvet rope. And so, Xander decided it'd be an idea to hump it. Meanwhile, Jake had given Kayleigh his Relentless and she insisted that if anyone wanted some, she would feed it to them. She 'fed' Bexi without any damage but it came to me and I kinda dribbled. Oops. Kayleigh then proceeded to steal the scarf that I stole from Jen on Saturday. We had more fun with the small silver pole and then I went to join Elena, whom by this point we had decided that she'd be doing my round with me, since she had the same break I had. Lotty came for a while and then this cute girl called Crystal (she has a nickname, but I'm unsure who to spell it) who, shock horror, is SHORTER than ME! I felt tall next to her. >:]

Xander then decided to leave for town, and came over to hug me and my posse. When he hugged me, he whispered in my ear "You'll always be Santa to me." Needless to say I looked at with with a 'WHAT THE FUCK!?' look on my face. So he went off and Elena and I buggered off to mine to do my paper round.

We got to mine and I saw our shiny Volvo on the drive. Adolf was home ¬_¬ So I said to Elena "We'll just dump our stuff in the garage." I let her steal Liz's bike so she could keep up. And yet she was still too slow. Another fail, Ellie.

We got back to mine in time for me to buy some lunch (pack of sandwiches, two dark kit-kats and two Lucozades) and catch the bus back to college, where we got in just in time for our lessons (our rooms were directly opposite to each other. How uncanny is that!?)

Media with Julian was pants as usual. We listened to some crappy radio play series and Kayleigh's quote from her brother instantly came to mind- "They always have some gay theme." I had to stifle my laughter.
Julain set us a research task and I buggered off to the library to do that. I never did go back to that room xD Whilst in the library, I discovered ebuddy.com, so I kind of have MSN back, but not fully. I miss it so.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo

"Why Didn't You Tell Me It Was Quarter Past 11, Knob!?"

Last night was brilliant. I tried to duplicate the hair from Flock of Seagulls, but my hair is too long and the sides kept flopping over. In the end I gave up, rinsed the copious amount of product out of it and blow-dried it, leaving it natural. Laura, Lotty, Elana & Kayleigh- that is the ONLY time you're going to see my hair like that, so I hoped you enjoyed it. I was then waiting for Kayleigh to come and dump her stuff. That was over with very quickly, and so we were whisked off to Lotty's. The door opened, reavling a gothic Laura and a Gene Simmons-esque Hope, complete with blonde mullet. We were officially in the 80's. We migrated into the lounge for a bit of socialising and communal bobbing to some 80s tunes. Lotty disappeared for a bit and came back, announcing that "For once, Mum has told me to turn the music UP!" Classic 80s tunes blared through the night, which had some interesting moments, to say the least. The first was Lotty, Hope and another girl whose name I can't remember (I think it was Alice?) acting along to Don't You Want Me. Needless to say I took videos:


Next was Kayleigh having an epic guitar solo in The Final Countdown, stealing many moves from famous guitarists. Which reminds me, Lotty: NEXT TIME YOU HAVE AN 80S PARTY, HAVE GUITAR HERO ROCKS THE 80S. Then, during Ever Fallen In Love, Kayleigh spent her time trying to get Hope back. Thoroughly good acting on both parts, it must be said. I was thrilled to see that Lotty's cake was a Rubiks Cube. Rubiks Cubes are the best!When it came to the lighting of the sole candle Lotty had plunged into the Cube, we all sang the compulsory 'Happy Birthday' and then Kayleigh demanded a speech. Hope gave a story of how she'd know Lotty her whole life and that she was one of the best people she'd ever known. Kayleigh then gave largely the same speech in two sentences- "This is Lotty. She is a Legend." Even Emma the dog had to agree. Soon, it was time to leave. Kayleigh and I started walking back to mine and we got about a fifth of the way there whenI suddenly realised- "Shit, I've left my camera behind!" So we headed back to Lotty's to pick up the accused camera, all the while Kayleigh dodging snails. I made the mistake of saying "I wonder what life you be like for something that small..." Cue Kayleigh's line of "I dunno, you tell me." ¬_¬ Thanks Kay.

After the walk home, we just sat in my room for a while, talking about random crap. Then Adolf declared that "It's one in the morning, so how about lights out in 10-15 minutes." Whatever, anything to keep him sweet. Then Kayleigh adjourned to the living room, where I joined her. We spent half the night drifting in and out of sleep on the rug (Kayleigh also kangaroo-kicked my knee) and then we finally crawled back into my room.
Next thing I know, Kayleigh trows my lucious Dream Touch cushion in my face, exclaiming "Why Didn't You Tell Me It Was Quarter Past 11, Knob!?" I didn't even know it was that late. We then just sat around talking until about noon, when I decided to try and sort my MSN out. The bastard still won't work ¬_¬. Meanwhile, I ripped Blaqk Audio to my computer, and now it's on my mp3 player, ready for the bus journey tomorrow morn.
We then browsed YouTube for videos of Smith Puget and a drunken Synyster Gates. And the Rev chasing a duck. I then decided that I wanted a drink, so went down to get one and I came back up to find a fully dressed Kayleigh (by this time it was something like twenty past 2). We then spent the rest of the afternoon watching The Young Ones, which was brilliant.
Upon finishing the first series of The Young Ones, Kayleigh called her folks to pick her up. She said they'd be here at quarter past 6, which gave us a fair bit of time to kill. We must've spent 20 minutes wrestling over the DT cushion. What a great way to waste time.

And now, I'm supposed to be doing some homework but I really can't be arsed. Instead, I'm plotting.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.

Oh, aaand...

I have found THE perfect calender for 2009.

Does anyone remember Wacky Races? I saw it and was all "Must. Get. Calender." Hopefully for Chrimbo...

"We're Not Going To Fucking Hong Kong!!!"

Today was fun. Besides the doing-fecking-round bit. I am actually gettin sick of that round -_-

Went into Town to meet Jen at 12. She turned up 10 minutes late ¬_¬ but it was good, 'cos I saw Jae walking out of Debenhams and he pointed at me and yelled 'It's Mo!' I also saw Tony, which was equally as good.
Jen waltzed up to me with some of her friends who'd tagged along. These were Sophie, Fern, Hannah, Taylor and Luke. First stop: Primark. The girls went to look at underwear, and us guys followed. We lost the girls for a while so it was Luke Taylor and I stood around in the underwear section. That was slightly awkward.

Next we went to Woolworths, where Luke got a cup of sweets, filled to the brim, and took it to New Look.
Whilst the girls spent AGES doing nothing in particular, Luke, Taylor and I spent our time 'dropping' various candy onto the elevator, just for the hell of it. That was great. We then got bored of that so I suggeseted we go and sit on the sofa they have on the ground floor. We sat there for what seemed like FOREVER, just talking about nothing and stealing Luke's sweets. Three chav girls walked past and were like "Hi!". I recall one of them yelling "Fuck me!" We were all 'the fuck?'. They came back after about 15 minutes and we were still there. They looked at us with puzzled expressions and I just said to them "Yeah, we live here. Got a problem?" They walked away after that and Taylor turned to me and goes "Wouldn't it be funny if they came back tomorrow and we were here again?" I cracked up.
After a couple of 5 second calls to the girls telling them to 'hurry the fuck up', they finally appeared. We then made a beeline for Blue Banana.

In Blunana, Fern got another ear piercing and I got a couple pairs of gloves. I only wanted one pair, but because they wouldn't accept my debit card for under £5, I told Jen to go get a pair she liked and I'd buy them. I bought the two pairs and announced "Because I bought these gloves, they are officially mine." and put them in my bag >:] Jen didn't like that much...
We then went to Hawkins Bizaare.

In Hawkins, we spent the time just mucking about. The staff were dressed in pyjamas, exclaiming "It's Pyjama day!" It would be interesting to work in there methinks. We found some amusing stuff in there like Penis/Boob pasta, and a voice changer gadget. We decided that it would be a good idea to call Callum and talk to him through it. The call went a bit like this:
Callum:- "What do you want?"
Me:- "What do you mean 'what do I want'? I want you!"
*callum hangs up*
Everyone cracked up. It was HILARIOUS!

After Hawkins we went somewhere else, and then somewhere else, and a few more shops. Luke and Taylor had it in their heads that I'd be buying them each a Subway. I told them where to go :]
In the end, I bought myself a sub, as did Luke and Taylor. Luke turned to me and goes "That was an awesome sandwich" I agreed, saying I fucking LOVE Subway.

We then ended up back at Hawkins for no reason, and we just sat in there, pretty much on the floor. Reading random books and mucking about with half a guitar.

After the pointless second visit to Hawkins, we started making our way back to Fleming Way (what a horrid name for a road.) and, upon passing some travel shops, Sohpie grabbed my wrist, dragged me over to the window and said "Where are you taking me on holiday then?" I was like 'What!?' then she had to pick one of the most expensive places- Hong Kong. She kept hold of me and said "So, you're paying for all of us to go, yeah?" I declined but she kept going on and on. In the end I just roared in her face "We're Not Going To Fucking Hong Kong!!!" She laughed. Which I found rude.

Soon, we bumped into Callum, who was in town with his brother. He looked at me and said "Why are you hanging out with a bunch of year 10's Martyn? Did all your other friends leave you?" That pissed me off a fair bit. I didn't think of it then, but what I should've said is 'Why are you in town with your brother? Did your friends not want to join you?' or something along those lines. I'm still slightly mad now.

And now, I need to go and sort out my 80s hair, before Kayleigh arrives at 7.15.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo

"Ice Cream Stealing, Bin Theiving Avian Rats!"

Just got in from tea out with my dear Papa, and it was brilliant.

We spent most of the evening making fun of my sister, Dad mocking her use of 'Like' and how gullable she is. I am not kidding when I say she said "Really!?" to the age old 'Gullable doesn't appear in the dictionary' line. I love my sister xD

I told Dad about the 80's party I'm off to on Saturday, and said I was undecided about my hairstyle and he suggested a style from Flock of Seagulls.

And here it is. Yes, my hair is hopefully going to be like that of Mr circled here. It's gonna be immense.

I was ordered to look on Google Images for the style by searching 'Flock of Seagulls' and I jokingly said "What, and come up with a load pictures of birds?" and he just replied "No, you'll definately get the band." Which I did xD
But when we started talking about the birds, Dad expressed his disgust for them b describing them as "Ice cream stealing, bin theiving avian rats!" Liz tried to point out they don't steal ice cream but rather chips. Dad replied with "They steal all manner of things.", prompting my dear sister to come out with "So they can steal things like hair and virginity?" Me and Dad proceeded to laugh. Dad told her "I said they steal all manner of things, not everything." Turning on the sarcasm, he says "Actually, they did steal my hair" (he's bald y'see) and Liz, hilariously, shows her true gullableness by exclaiming "Really!?". Cue more laughter from Dad and I.

Moving from the subject of the 80's and flying rodents, we (by which I mean Liz) started talking about Heath Ledger's Joker, and the amazing pencil trick he pulls of. Dad explains how it really isn't that hard to stick a pencil through someone's eye, since it's nothing but soft tissue to the back of your skull- 1. Eyeball 2.Optic nerve 3. Brain. Beautiful.
We then started talking about death and the worst ways to die. Dad is petrified of either Drowning or Burning to death. I don't blame him really. And it was just as well that we'd stopped eating by then. The conversation closed promptly after we were talking about Liz near drowning and the horrific pain of being burnt, and Dad's closing comment of "What a morbid subject!"

We then had dessert (Belgian Waffle Stack) and he brought us home. Mum was in the shower so we watched The Simpsons whilst we waited. Mum came down, started ranting about her job, and then Dad left. See him in another two weeks.


In other news, dear Kayleigh made me a new blog banner simply because she was bored. Bless. Thank you Kay!

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.

So It Turns Out Pigeons Can Smoke...

Today = a mix of all sorts really.

I was much happier than yesterday which is good :D although Media Studies with Una was a bit of a drag. The only interesting bit was drawing movie posters near the end of the lesson.

So from one lesson straight into another. Although my english lesson was again effectively cancelled. Roll on a 2 hour break. Which I spent in our usual spot, sat on the floor. The floor was good.
Pigeon waltzed on over to join our group, and Kayleigh jumped to the chance of making friends. Every so often she'd turn to me with a huge 'I'VE MADE FRIENDS WITH PIGEON!' grin on her face. So joined in, and it turns out Pigeon's name is Kieran. He eventually left us for a cigarette. Hence the Smoking Pigeon.

Kayleigh left for her Geography trip of measuring a river, and spent the next half hour eating my lunch and sitting on Jake's knee. Jake, your knee is quite comfortable :D Although he forgot to Goodbye Hug me. I was annoyed about that.

Communication with Ron was fun, since absolutley NO ONE in the class was listening, yet he continued talking xD Elena 'shared' her Oreo's with me (I stole 3 of the available 4) and decided it would be a laugh to tie my hair in pigtails. In the end, my ears got cold so I took them out.
During the break from Ron, I bought 2 cans of Relentless and downed them both within 5 minutes. Jae proceeded to stand on both cans, causing them to stay on his shoes. I pronounced he had a medical condition know as Can Foot.
Back in Ron's lesson, he started talking about... I forget what it was but he did something horrifying- he took the nearest chair to me, pulled it right next to me and SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME. I froze in horror. I don't think I've fully recovered.

Waiting at the bus stop, I was stunned by the sheer amount of people waiting for the same bus. Needless to say, I waited for a less packed bus to arrive. Whilst I was waiting, Elena and Lotty appeared. We had a good old chin wag about nothing and then we discovered that Elena and I have the same size shoes. So we swapped one shoe. She has my left Gola slip-on, I have her left Rocket Dog shoe. We'll be swapping back tomorrow. I hope.

I was debating about wearing my vintage, 100% real leather jacket to college tomorrow, but then Kayleigh kindly reminded me that Benji would probably kill me. Because of her, I will live to see another day. It'll just have to wait until Lotty's 80's birthday party on Saturday.

Your friendly neighbourhood Mo.